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View Full Version : Re: 10) Zerg

NateSMZ
10-10-2007, 07:43 PM
interesting
-LT-
10-11-2007, 08:17 AM
I like it.
Joneagle_X
10-11-2007, 04:21 PM
I actually really like this one.

I can tell you one thing for certain. This is the weakest part of the poem:


Chase them to the highest peak,

They can’t fight us ‘cause they’re weak.

Otherwise it's seamless, conveys a message that I understood, and has a solid theme. Well written, even though short.
Joneagle_X
10-11-2007, 04:32 PM
That's the idea behind the last line not rhyming. It stands out of place and makes you linger on it.

Obviously it made you do it too :D
BnechbReaker
10-11-2007, 07:10 PM
short and sweet, i like it
NateSMZ
10-12-2007, 06:30 PM
I don't want to be abrasive... but I felt like the person who wrote this must be quite young. It feels a bit too simplistic to me. appreciate the effort however - pz pz
-LT-
10-12-2007, 08:43 PM
Well to most of the people here, it's their first try.