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View Full Version : Re: 15) the powering protoss

josh
10-10-2007, 04:16 PM
I don't think this is regarded as a poem. It's like they're playing a game of "I Own You."
coreyb
10-10-2007, 04:21 PM
Look's like a haikus to me , a type of japenese poetry I beleive , it is a very good haikus :P
josh
10-10-2007, 04:24 PM
Haiku with 17 syllables? I thought it was only 13?
coreyb
10-10-2007, 04:34 PM
Yeah haikus is 5/7/5 sylable's in each line , 5 first , 7 second and 5 third! and it's done correctly so I ain't sure what Yur on about dude.
BnechbReaker
10-10-2007, 04:57 PM
i don't really get this...
NateSMZ
10-10-2007, 07:56 PM
um... well, yeah
BirdofPrey
10-10-2007, 08:48 PM
Umm wtf is that
-LT-
10-10-2007, 08:50 PM
i don't really get this...

Me neither...
JimRaynor45
10-10-2007, 09:20 PM
I dont know much about poems, but I like this. Its fast, swift, hard and cool all at the same time.

Its like a action movie.
EonMaster
10-10-2007, 09:41 PM
I like it :)

The life in a game of major pwnage

Why can't my battles on b-net be like this rather than the other way around :\
Alukard
10-10-2007, 11:25 PM
i think the person just wanted some attention cause im not getting it. but thats just me
Trooper_Lozer
10-10-2007, 11:38 PM
kool, but not much of a poem
josh
10-11-2007, 07:43 AM
Well, it's a haiku. It's another type of poem. But the syllables are pretty messed up.
coreyb
10-11-2007, 02:50 PM
Thankyou Josh! , someone understand's poetry!
NateSMZ
10-12-2007, 05:42 PM
in all honesty, it just feels like a very amateur attempt... there's nothing to pull the reader in - it's not necessary to always use emotion but even interesting wording would help... if it is supposed to be haikus - then the form wasn't followed very well because the syllable counts are of in quite a lot of it

good effort with telling a complete story, just if you do this again - try to focus on including some element that will make your writing connect to the reader

not trying to be harsh - just trying to give as honest and helpful feedback as possible, pz
BnechbReaker
10-12-2007, 05:49 PM
it's a nice effort, the author is only a kid
NateSMZ
10-12-2007, 05:52 PM
well, I don't know who the author is - and after thinking about it and getting some opinions I decided it was best to try to be as honest as possible

allow me to repeat however that I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings... if poetry isn't a serious hobby to you, then just ignore my typing and don't let it bother you - it was a valuable submission - and I'm glad he participated