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View Full Version : Re: 18) Tassadar's sacrifice

-LT-
10-11-2007, 08:10 AM
It's good. I like it.
BnechbReaker
10-11-2007, 07:36 PM
um.. i felt that quite a few of the versus didn't really rhyme
NateSMZ
10-12-2007, 06:16 PM
I'm not sure if the broken rhyme technique was used on purpose or not - but regardless, I've rarely liked it. There's really only a few possibilities where the jarring it creates is useful towards establishing a point... and I don't think this poem was one of those places. decent work... feels almost like you might've been working thru a language barrier actually... good effort - pz
PKZeppelin
10-19-2007, 08:34 PM
That's awesome ! :thumbup: :good: :powerup: